Driven to Insanity
by JeanneAndHerAlters
Summary: Elena deals with stupid things from her co-worker on a daily basis. This is the last straw. A highway chase and a sniper rifle, and they are back at square one. Rated T for the usual... One-Shot


**Well… I was being driven insane by boredom because my lovely muses weren't online and I absolutely needed something to keep me busy. Thus I pulled out my handy dandy notebook and flipped through what I have written to see if I could find an idea. BEHOLD! I did indeed find an idea! -waves hands-Now for the disclaimer!**

_Italics- On the news or thoughts_

**Disclaimer: The fact that I am needed says it all.**

Tifa sat on top of her bar, not a pass-time she normally engaged in but the news had caught her eye. Why did it catch her eye for once? Well it was about someone she knew, or rather someone she wanted to castrate with a rusty spoon and needle.

_The newsman adjusted his tie nervously. "Before I am allowed to broadcast this clip to the world I am suppose to say this," he cleared his throat. "Warning: Irresponsible driving by Reno. Do not attempt at home!" he ran a hand through his purple hair, "This is going on right now in downtown Edge. We have no reporters down there at this time but a Turk and a camera man."_

**Downtown Edge**

The blonde leaned out the window, shouting furious curses as Rude drove after the fleeing car. "Damn it Rude speed up! Can't you make this piece of crap go any faster?" the bald man didn't reply, merely nodded at the speedometer. "He's getting away!"

The car in front of them took a sharp U-turn, magically avoiding any cars on the packed road and sped past them again. Rude performed a similar move, concentration written across his face. At any normal time someone would have laughed at the crude and perverted sharpie drawings that littered the man's face, but at times like this one learned to be silent.

"How the hell does he do that?" the cameraman squeaked in shock, staring at the other car. Rude shrugged and continued speeding down the highway, intent upon catching the maniac in the other car.

"Screw this!" One of Elena's hands reappeared in the car as she yanked a sniper out of the glove department, causing the cameraman to squeak in terror. The young man seemed to like squeaking. "Can you keep it steady Rude?"

"Yes," it was the first thing Rude had said since the chase began.

Elena looked through the scope, scowling at the hand that appeared out of the car, middle finger up and flipping her off. Changing her aim she carefully pulled the trigger, hoping her shot was still good with sniper rifles.

True to academy exam results one tire was shot out, but the maniac in the car didn't stop. Sparks flew everywhere as the rim drug along the car. "You pig headed bastard!" Elena screeched, knowing the man couldn't hear her. "You're dead when we get ahold of you!"

The two cars broke through the traffic, coming out on an empty stretch of road that lead from Edge to Kalm. "We have him now!" Elena cheered, another bullet flying towards the car and striking the remaining back tire.

The red car skid to a jarring stop as did the one Elena, Rude, and the poor innocent terrified cameraman. Reno leaped out of his shot up car. "You'll never catch me alive you poor innocent souls!" he screeched and took off, unfortunately for him he forgot he wasn't wearing pants, or even his left boot.

Elena tackled him, screaming bloody murder as she attempted to knaw his hair off. "Get off me Laney!" Reno knocked the screaming blonde off of her, eye twitching.

"No way you sick freak!" the blonde screeched. "All my clothes are freaking white! MY SUITS! I LOOK LIKE THE STUPID BLOND IDIOT WE WORK FOR!"

"So?" Reno asked, apparently unconcerned. He seemed perfectly comfortable lounging on the hard dirt ground in chocobo print boxers, one boot half tied, the other completely missing and wearing rainbow moogle socks.

"You came into work dressed like an idiot! AND LATE!" Elena attempted to leap at his throat, but the redhead wiggled away, laughing maniacally. Nodding towards his bald partner the redhead took off for the car Elena had been in, Rude and the cameraman in hot pursuit. They sped off, leaving a very furious Elena behind.

**Seventh Heaven**

Tifa choked on her food as she witnessed this. The Turks were allowing such antics to be taped? Sure they were trained and deadly professionals so such an act wouldn't be a problem, but this kind of thing was insanity! Civilians could have been killed!

Running out of her bar Tifa turned her truck on with the intent of picking Elena up. If anyone was going to strangle the redhead for doing something so dangerous it was the blonde.

**Later that day**

Everyone was hanging out in the lounge, enjoying a few drinks and chatting. That is till a certain blonde in white stormed in. "RENO!"

"What's up Laney!"

"Good Evening Elena."

"…" It doesn't take much imagination on a viewer's part to figure out where the greetings came from. After all there was only four people in the room, three of which were fellow Turks greeting their comrade.

"My my Elena. White certainly flatters you does it not?" Elena froze in shock and turned slowly to face her boss. Rufus Shinra was perched elegantly on the arm of a leather couch, eyebrow raised.

"N-not as good as you s-sir!" Elena stammered, hoping she'd be able to get out of this situation without her salary being cut.

"Oh certainly not. I'm to much of an idiot to be able to pull of such a fine fashion statement," the man announced, mocking his employee. Elena flushed in anger and embarrassment. She'd forgotten all about the cameraman once she'd caught up with the redheaded idiot.

"S-sir! Of course sir!" the blonde immediately gasped in horror and ran out of the room.

"Do you need me to dock her pay sir?" Tseng asked in amusement, sipping his coffee.

"Certainly not. It was extremely amusing," Rufus mused, dropping his seventh cube of sugar into his coffee. "Reno I want you to come to work in a moogle suit tomorrow. Her reactions are much better than paperwork."

"Yes sir!" Reno cheered, beer bottle raised in a mock salute.

**Me: Well here we are at the end of my one-shot. I hope you guys (and whatever story stalkers of mine happen to be reading) enjoyed it! My lovely beta appeared online shortly before I finished it so hopefully nothing is too wrong with it. The warning the newscaster said was my inspiration for the whole thing.**


End file.
